Hideous Cookbook Series

At the urging of my beloved, I am beginning a Hideous Cookbook Series. I have a small collection of cookbooks (okay, maybe it’s not so small), many of which were gifts. Some are relics of the 1970s that my mother relegated to the junk pile, but I (ever foolhardy) rescued. And, of course, plenty are shiny and new. But nearly all cookbook authors/publishers fall victim to temporary insanity, resulting in recipes like this:

RAISIN MOSAIC SALAD BALL

  • 1 cup dark seedless raisins
  • 1/4 c. sherry
  • 1 cup diced cantaloupe
  • 1 cup diced fresh pears
  • 1 cup chopped or sliced celery
  • 1 8-oz. package cream cheese
  • 1/2 tsp. salt
  • 3 drops hot sauce
  • 2 tsp. grated onion
  • 1 tsp. lemon juice
  • 1 firm head western iceberg lettuce
  • cream cheese garnish (3 oz. plain or pimento cream cheese combined with 1 tbsp. mayonnaise)
  • cantaloupe crescents
  • sliced ham rolls
  • white asparagus spears
  • cherry tomatoes
  • ripe olives

Combine the raisins with sherry in a bowl and let stand for several hours of overnight, stirring several times. Chill the diced cantaloupe, pears and celery. Drain the raisins, reserving 2 tablespoons for garnish. Toss remaining raisins with diced cantaloupe, pears and celery. Beat the cream cheese until smooth and fluffy, then beat in the salt, hot sauce, onion and lemon juice. Drain the pear mixture and add to cream cheese mixture. Mix lightly but well. Cut the lettuce into 4 thick slices. Shape the pear mixture into 4 balls and place one on top of each lettuce slice. Press cream cheese garnish through a pastry tube around bottom of fruit ball and over top. Garnish with reserved raisins, cantaloupe crescents, ham rolls, asparagus spears, cherry tomatoes and ripe olives. 4 servings.

Or, worse, photos like this:

carrot-tower

That’s a six-cup molded salad, composed primarily of carrots, potatoes and olives. Mm.

Both, by the way, are from The Salads Cookbook: Southern Living Progressive Farmer, which was apparently volume six of a series published by Favorite Recipes Press in 1972. Imagine if I had the full set. [shudder]

Watch out for the Hideous Cookbook Series, part 2, coming soon to a computer near you.

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2 Responses to “Hideous Cookbook Series”

  1. Dixie Says:

    I think you should make that raisin salad ball thing and take a picture so we can enjoy the eww factor without tasting it. The carrot/potato salad gave instant gratification. 😉 The funny thing is that they thought the salad ball needed a cream cheese garnish.

  2. Mike Says:

    First blog I read after wakeup from sleep today!

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